::young but not naive::
yeah that's me....my age might be young...but i learned a lot in life already...i learned in life the hard way...i can distinguish what's wrong and what's right...i know who is real and not...but now something's bothering me...and i am hating to think bout it...i don't want to think about it...i hope he will just say he is not serious at all...
::random facts about me::
1. I hate shopping. (specially if i don't have money lol)
2. I am not fashionable, i can wear whatever clothes available on my closet.
3. I can count how many clothes i am wearing all in all.
4. I don't wear accessories, except wrist watch.
5. I will not spend an hour in the mirror preparing myself.
6. I don't wear make up that often.
7. I have eaten exotic foods (snake, farm rat, frog, rabbit, dog, cat, crickets, silk worm, deer, wild pig...) can't remember the others lol.
8. I might talk too much online but in person i don't talk that much if u are not a close friend.
9. I lived in a farm for almost 9 years of my life.
10. I love cooking.
11. I don't know how to play chess.
12. I hate CLOWNS.
13. I don't really love books but started to learn how to love it just because i want to improve my english.
14. I once was dean's list top 14 among hundreds almost thousand student in my department back in college.
15. I graduated as top 6 when i was in highschool.
16. I love to write.
17. I have 5 sisters and 5 brothers.
18. I am addicted to internet...which is not really good lol
19. I don't like brat girls...they get on my nerves.
20. I love being loved (:
21. I never had a boyfriend in my life.
22. There was once in my life where in i thought of becoming a lesbian hahaha
23. I love GOD.
24. I love traveling, that is my dream.
25. I love action movies, romantic comedy, drama, horror.comedy.
26. I am a plain dumb in math.
27. I am sometimes introverted sometimes extroverted type of person.
2. I am not fashionable, i can wear whatever clothes available on my closet.
3. I can count how many clothes i am wearing all in all.
4. I don't wear accessories, except wrist watch.
5. I will not spend an hour in the mirror preparing myself.
6. I don't wear make up that often.
7. I have eaten exotic foods (snake, farm rat, frog, rabbit, dog, cat, crickets, silk worm, deer, wild pig...) can't remember the others lol.
8. I might talk too much online but in person i don't talk that much if u are not a close friend.
9. I lived in a farm for almost 9 years of my life.
10. I love cooking.
11. I don't know how to play chess.
12. I hate CLOWNS.
13. I don't really love books but started to learn how to love it just because i want to improve my english.
14. I once was dean's list top 14 among hundreds almost thousand student in my department back in college.
15. I graduated as top 6 when i was in highschool.
16. I love to write.
17. I have 5 sisters and 5 brothers.
18. I am addicted to internet...which is not really good lol
19. I don't like brat girls...they get on my nerves.
20. I love being loved (:
21. I never had a boyfriend in my life.
22. There was once in my life where in i thought of becoming a lesbian hahaha
23. I love GOD.
24. I love traveling, that is my dream.
25. I love action movies, romantic comedy, drama, horror.comedy.
26. I am a plain dumb in math.
27. I am sometimes introverted sometimes extroverted type of person.
::the mask::
The Mask
A mask of plastic happiness often covers her sadnessHer beliefs hidden from most
Afraid of, but willing to face the unknown
Wondering where her place is in this life
She has come close to sharing herself
Never completely revealing anything to anyone
Feelings of invisible chains corner her
When she dreams, reality shatters before her very eyes
Accomplishments she strives for just at hands grasp
She feels lost sometimes, not yet finding her notch in this world
At times the glimmer in her calm eyes slowly disappears
But within her heart a silent flame burns her inside and out
She roams day by day, playing roles
Strength unknowingly resides in her
History repeats itself once again
The translucent veil she so proudly wears
Little by little answers will come, pushing it aside
One day there will be no more mask for her to wear
One day her beliefs will be known
One day she'll know her place in this life
One day she will share herself
ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE
::when someone departs::
I know it was August, Saturday morning u.s time. We were about to enjoy a party, when we received a call. Dad died. Few days before that we received a call that he drank a poison. Early in the morning I am not up yet my mom woke me up and told me about the news from Philippines, and my mom looked like she was calm but i know for sure she was worried. Then they brought my dad to the hospital, i did still hear his voice wanting to removed the tube from his throat. I can feel his pain, coz my nurse sister told me how painful the tube was to be in the throat.
I can't process on my mind why did dad made that, 4 months before we went here he was still ok. I know my dad, he is not the dad that a lot wants to have. He was a drunkard, i admit that, he was not that good father to us, but he was still our father. I was not that close to him, we always did argue, he never showed to us, his kids that he loved us, but i know he did. One thing i did regret when he was gone that i never did hug him before i left Philippines, coz i thought there was still time for me to do that, i never did tell him the words "i love you" coz i never thought he was gone by that. I never saw his body which have died, because i don't want to. I don't want to remember him as a cold corpse, but i want to remember his face, his living face, the face that laughed with us when we were watching t.v.
Maybe its just hard for me to accept that he died because he committed SUICIDE. That's painful for us, i don't know the reason, his reason, but i know God knows it. I will not hate for my dad for that. Because of what happened to my family, i became stronger, I always learn the hard way. Well its hard that my dad died already but that's life, and i know i can face whatever it is. I am a strong girl.
I can't process on my mind why did dad made that, 4 months before we went here he was still ok. I know my dad, he is not the dad that a lot wants to have. He was a drunkard, i admit that, he was not that good father to us, but he was still our father. I was not that close to him, we always did argue, he never showed to us, his kids that he loved us, but i know he did. One thing i did regret when he was gone that i never did hug him before i left Philippines, coz i thought there was still time for me to do that, i never did tell him the words "i love you" coz i never thought he was gone by that. I never saw his body which have died, because i don't want to. I don't want to remember him as a cold corpse, but i want to remember his face, his living face, the face that laughed with us when we were watching t.v.
Maybe its just hard for me to accept that he died because he committed SUICIDE. That's painful for us, i don't know the reason, his reason, but i know God knows it. I will not hate for my dad for that. Because of what happened to my family, i became stronger, I always learn the hard way. Well its hard that my dad died already but that's life, and i know i can face whatever it is. I am a strong girl.
::LOVE IS NOT A FEELING::
If you hear this words I am sure you will disagree with it. Why is it not a feeling? I can feel it, my body tingles when i see him or her looking or talking to me. Well this are the physiological manifestations when one has the sensation of "falling in love". People usually falls for a person because that person satisfies the one on their lists.
We usually fall in love with the person's appearance, with the way she/he walks, the way he/she talks. Sometimes we impute to our object of love some mystic illusion, ideal qualities and the more we get to know the person the less we fall for him or her. That's when the feeling of love disappears even faster than it appeared.
Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don't use it you lose it. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return. Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.
Most teens says they fall in love with that person because of this and that. Because she is pretty, nice, smart, but when that person fails to show the person that thought she was then you will change your mind about that person. And that is not love.
Love is maybe the most complicated word to describe in human history. Many will define it, some are right and most of the time they define it wrong. They say love hurts, love is painful, love is blind. This are the wrong viewpoints of human beings about love. Hurt, pain are not from love its from the people doing it.
Love is a probably the single most universally desired human quality that exist on this planet. Love is not something you can buy or barter, it is not taught at school, it doesn’t matter how rich you are, your IQ, race, creed, religion, social economic status or who you know. Remember love is not a feeling; love is a decision!
We usually fall in love with the person's appearance, with the way she/he walks, the way he/she talks. Sometimes we impute to our object of love some mystic illusion, ideal qualities and the more we get to know the person the less we fall for him or her. That's when the feeling of love disappears even faster than it appeared.
Love is not a feeling, love is a decision you make and continue to make in order to create an experience that is described as love. Love is an action that if you don't use it you lose it. Love is like any communication, if you never send it out, you won’t get a return. Love is something you give to others not something you feel because something happens to you.
Most teens says they fall in love with that person because of this and that. Because she is pretty, nice, smart, but when that person fails to show the person that thought she was then you will change your mind about that person. And that is not love.
Love is maybe the most complicated word to describe in human history. Many will define it, some are right and most of the time they define it wrong. They say love hurts, love is painful, love is blind. This are the wrong viewpoints of human beings about love. Hurt, pain are not from love its from the people doing it.
Love is a probably the single most universally desired human quality that exist on this planet. Love is not something you can buy or barter, it is not taught at school, it doesn’t matter how rich you are, your IQ, race, creed, religion, social economic status or who you know. Remember love is not a feeling; love is a decision!
::doing::
ok today was lil bit boring day, no volunteer work...i have been here 5 months not studying yeah that's why i am just reading some english books and math books by myself refreshing my mind out the things i have learned long time ago...hahaha ohh not long time ago...the other day i just caught up in a traffic for 2 hours coz of severe accident in our way home...so i got home so tired after doing volunteer work helping at the thanksgiving dinner for the whole day...i know volunteer work is boring, no pay and lots of work, but its a stepping stone for me and time by time i am loving it. I interact with other people for the fact that its better than to stay home and do nothing. I need to exercise my communication skills more than ever. I am going to enter college on january! OMG oh well yeah i am going to school already!! i am excited for it and nervous at the same time coz they are new people, new friends, new race, new new new...hahaha
and what my online life...new friends, others forgotten me already...deleted perves ahahah...and uhh i'm going to watch twilight today! yeah new moon i hope it will be great i hope i hope....ok ok see you again later i will write more about it (:
and what my online life...new friends, others forgotten me already...deleted perves ahahah...and uhh i'm going to watch twilight today! yeah new moon i hope it will be great i hope i hope....ok ok see you again later i will write more about it (:
::why do i believe there is GOD?::
Of all arguments and debates maybe the topic about Lord Jesus Christ is the most crucial topic. Its the most controversial subject of all times. Why should we suppose to believe in him? Is he for real? If his real why are this happening to me? Why is the world in chaos? Why! Why! Why! Maybe this are the questions lingering in your head. So as mine before i became a real christian. I mean its hard to believe in something you didn't see in your eyes. Specially the creation of the world, since science is contradicting it. Big bang theory and this and that. First of all where did big bang theory begun? how did it happen without a superior creator behind it? Have you ever ask yourself how a tree grew as it is in a very unique way that nobody can imitate it? Have you ever ask yourself how everything in nature is in order? How the photosynthesis is happening? Have you ever ask how everything begun? You can't say it all begun on those small amoebas and grew into like this and like that. Then where did those little creatures came from and grew as it is into something? If man is from monkey why there are still monkeys today?
There are lots of proofs that God existed and the Bible is true like the once mentioned in the Bible that still exist today. Like the hanging gardens of babylon. And if you just search there are science that proves God's existence.
There are lots of questions in human mind, its how God created human mind. But if you try to understand God you will never understand him. Because he is God, if you can understand him then He will not be a God. Believing in God is like believing in a invisible man that nobody can see it, you can't literally prove He existed because you can't let them see his physical body, but you know he existed and is existing, and that is called FAITH.
There are lots of proofs that God exists, but you can never give a proof that he never existed. God is for real and he created all the things that here on earth. If you will just look around then you will know that God is great and you should believe in Him. But God gave as free will for us to choose what to believe in.
There are lots of proofs that God existed and the Bible is true like the once mentioned in the Bible that still exist today. Like the hanging gardens of babylon. And if you just search there are science that proves God's existence.
There are lots of questions in human mind, its how God created human mind. But if you try to understand God you will never understand him. Because he is God, if you can understand him then He will not be a God. Believing in God is like believing in a invisible man that nobody can see it, you can't literally prove He existed because you can't let them see his physical body, but you know he existed and is existing, and that is called FAITH.
There are lots of proofs that God exists, but you can never give a proof that he never existed. God is for real and he created all the things that here on earth. If you will just look around then you will know that God is great and you should believe in Him. But God gave as free will for us to choose what to believe in.
Freedom by the KATINAS
Freedom is not the ability to do what you want to do
Freedom is not the ability, the right to do what I want to do
It is the power to do what you should do
Freedom is the freedom to love not hate, that’s what it is
If you can’t love, you can’t forgive your not free
So mind blowing to me this sense of liberty
I think its safe to say its taken over me
For this we fought so long
It wasn’t all for nothing
Trials and tribulations have come to make us strong
Now more than we ever understand
We’re locked together within
We’ve been united by faith
Not gonna run away
So with the Spirit of hope we will find our victory
It lives inside of our soul
Just believe
Raise your hand to the sky
If you feel what I’m feelin’
Till the end we will fight we will fight for our freedom
Bound up the darkness falls
Shadows are closing in
The air is getting cold
Depression settling
Don’t wait until its over time will not delay
So stop procrastinating, its time to break the chains
Lets come together and stand
The world is watching
Our faith is even stronger now
Despite all the opposition
So with the spirit of hope we will find our victory
It lies inside our soul just believe
Raise your hand to the sky
If you feel what I’m feelin’
Till the end we will fight we will fight for our freedom
Freedom is not the ability, the right to do what I want to do
It is the power to do what you should do
Freedom is the freedom to love not hate, that’s what it is
If you can’t love, you can’t forgive your not free
So mind blowing to me this sense of liberty
I think its safe to say its taken over me
For this we fought so long
It wasn’t all for nothing
Trials and tribulations have come to make us strong
Now more than we ever understand
We’re locked together within
We’ve been united by faith
Not gonna run away
So with the Spirit of hope we will find our victory
It lives inside of our soul
Just believe
Raise your hand to the sky
If you feel what I’m feelin’
Till the end we will fight we will fight for our freedom
Bound up the darkness falls
Shadows are closing in
The air is getting cold
Depression settling
Don’t wait until its over time will not delay
So stop procrastinating, its time to break the chains
Lets come together and stand
The world is watching
Our faith is even stronger now
Despite all the opposition
So with the spirit of hope we will find our victory
It lies inside our soul just believe
Raise your hand to the sky
If you feel what I’m feelin’
Till the end we will fight we will fight for our freedom
::loosing weight::
Loosing weight is not that easy. Seriously, you need to eat lesser, exercise more. Currently i gain little pounds i am 110 lbs before now i am 113 pounds. That means i need to lose more weight. I want it badly!!
I hope I can, i will record all of my foods in my notes of how much i am taking in...
I hope I will lose weight in a month!
I hope I can, i will record all of my foods in my notes of how much i am taking in...
I hope I will lose weight in a month!
